Constellations
by queenkepner
Summary: The sun loved the moon so much he died every night, just to let her breathe. Set in 9x23.


People like to believe the sun and the moon are star crossed lovers. They rarely meet, most often desperately chase each other only to always miss each other. But sometimes, they catch up and kiss. And everyone stares in awe of their eclipse.

According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with 4 legs, 4 arms, 2 heads and 1 heart. Zeus feared their power and split them in half, condemning them to spend the rest of their lives searching for their other halves. So you live your whole life being told that someone out there is your perfect fit. That everything they do will make your heart whirl. But how do you really know? How do you get up one morning and know that the person laying down next to you is a burning house you're willing to stay in?

You just know.

One day, Jackson Avery woke up and he knew. He knew that April Kepner was the most confusing, aggravating yet dazzling and mesmerizing person he'd ever met. But she was endlessly fascinating, and he was hopelessly scared to say anything because she didn't feel that way.

Many months back they'd attempted to be together, only it failed when they both realized how different they were. April saw eight sides of everything, 7 more than Jackson ever did.

She always seemed so inevitable to him. A few simple words in months of silence could light up every star of every constellation he could fathom.

Today was the day. He would finally tell her about the way he loved everything about her. That he wanted two things in this world, her and them together. Nothing else mattered when she was around because he was simply and blatantly in love with her. There was nothing and no one else in the world that made him as happy as her laugh at 3am or the way her freckles dance in the sky like shooting stars.

It was with joy he approached her that day, as she stacked up on medical supplies. "I just had such a great surgery, I felt so alive for once, you know? And I-," Seeing her pained expression, he paused "What's wrong?"

"I don't know!" She huffed distraughtly "Hunt has been keeping me out of surgeries all day, maybe he finally realized that I'm the dud…"

"So I'll speak to him." He was furious. After all, he was the chief of the hospital and if anyone undermined April they would have to hear from him first.

"No, it's fine. I don't want you to fight for me."

_It's all I ever wanted to do_ he thought silently

This was it. Jackson finally worked up the courage and was sure that he wanted to tell her right here, right now, that he feels as if April is the most important and beautiful person he's ever met. That every time she smiles at him he feels as though she's the one that puts the stars into the sky. That any shooting star could never give him the joy she gives him. That in every possible galaxy he can fathom, she's there. That his constellation would never be complete without her.

" Trauma coming in!" A nurse yelled.

"Great, another case I can get kicked out of!" The red head grumbled and walked away, Jackson following close behind, hoping he could soon tell her.

But the sight that Jackson was met with when he finally arrived outside felt like the worst nightmare he'd ever had. A flash mob was dancing around April, with the dorky paramedic she'd been dating.

_No, no no no no._

"April, you have made me so happy. And when I know something, I know." Matthew started.

Every ounce of Jackson's heart broke, because silently he knew it was too late. That only mere seconds ago she could've been his but…

"I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as that." The guy continued.

_Please don't. Don't take her away. _

"So.."

_Don't_

"Will.."

_She's all I have_

"You"

_She's all I've ever wanted_

"Marry"

_She's all I've ever needed_

"Me?"

There it was. The final heart string pulled. The big question that seemed so impossible only an hour ago yet here he was, standing there looking at this guy that probably deserved April more than he did, and he was asking April to be his forever.

The crowd erupted in a cheer, as the song died down and Matthew scooped up April. Her laugh was magical and mesmerizing, yet it no longer was Jackson's to hear.

"Yes, yes I'll marry you." April was so happy, and every piece of Jackson felt like it was crumbling.

In that moment Jackson silently admired that every star in the sky was the universe's frail attempt at replicating the constellation that is April Kepner.

There were thousands of moments they'd ever shared together which he had taken for granted, mostly because he thought there would be a thousand more. He hoped that once he finally figured out the right words to say, they would be together.

But they wouldn't. The worst part of missing her was the surprise it caught him with each time. Jackson would simply catch himself walking around to find her, not for any reason, just out of habit. Sometimes he'd see something he wanted to tell her about or just because he wanted to hear her voice. And then it would always hit him that she wasn't there anymore, and every single time, it felt like having the wind knocked out of him.

It was funny. One day he thought soul mates were the dumbest idea that humans had ever created, and the next he watched his very own commit herself to someone else. Because there was one thing that no one specified when they came up with soul mates, they didn't tell you how to handle things when you're watching that person get proposed to.

But his constellation would always be empty without her. He would just be an endless and hopeless infinity of emptiness.

Finally, April stares at him while hugging someone that isn't him. She smiles and her eyes light up majestically. She always looked the prettiest when she smiled with her eyes, and with only a glance Jackson was mesmerized. Still, she held her gaze and looked at him, awaiting a reaction.

He smiles.

He smiles because if he doesn't he's pretty sure his blue eyes will cloud up and waves will pour out. He smiles because the person that he loves is genuinely happy even though he's not the one that gave her that ring. He smiles because if he doesn't, he won't make it.

The sun loved the moon so much that he died every night, just to let her breathe.

* * *

** NOTE:**

**I really hope I didn't overuse the word ****_star_**** in this. Anyway, I really wanted to write something a bit different, with a lot of astronomical references, for some very odd reason. Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**


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